Just Friends
by DogAndButterfly
Summary: ...but titles can be misleading. Alex takes a not so favourable verdict quite hard. Will she find someone to pick up the pieces? Rating may change later on, note summary has already changed. Chapt 2 is up as I have found some momentum.
1. Just Friends

They aren't mine, but I sincerely would not have any objections whatsoever if they were. They are, unfortunately for me, the intellectual property of Dick Wolf, although Dick, I'm happy to take either of them off your hands. Sharing is caring.

The story, however, is mine. It's my very first attempt at anything remotely resembling a fanfic, so please R&R and I might continue it.

* * *

It wasn't meant to happen like this.

Alex Cabot drained her fifth cup of bitter takeaway coffee and threw the empty vessel in the general direction of her overflowing wastepaper basket. It had already been a long day; it was going to be an even longer night.

She should have put that bastard away for life. The fact that a witness had flipped out during testimony couldn't be helped. Still, there was no reason she couldn't have gotten him on the physical evidence alone. If she weren't so thoroughly pissed off, she would have laughed at the fact that he'd only got fifteen years.

What a joke.

"Hey, Cabot, you comin' for a drink? We've got some celebratin' to do!" She peered up over the stylish frames of her reading glasses, her vision blurring instantly. The fact that she needed to wear them at all told her she was bordering on exhaustion. For a moment her mind drifted back home to her bed, the soft white sheets and choppy brunette hair across the pillow…

Wake up, Alex, she told herself. It won't ever be any more than a daydream…And now is not the time for daydreaming. As she struggled to refocus on the door, the vague shape of Detective John Munch swam into view. She now recalled hearing mention of celebratory drinks at some bar or other after work, but she'd been too upset by the verdict to pay much attention.

"Thanks Detective, but I have to carry on. She picked up her pen.

"Alex…" Munch's tone was…Wistful? Frustrated? She couldn't tell. "There's plenty of time for that tomorrow. We've got him out of the way, right?

"John…Sorry. Not tonight. I appreciate the offer but…I'll be out of here soon anyway. I think I need an early one"

The fact that she was lying through her teeth was not lost on the detective. "One day you'll quit kidding yourself," he said bluntly, before adding "You know where to find us if you change your mind".

As she forced to refocus on the papers in front of her she thought again of home. Her bed. The thought struck her that she always enjoyed being in bed more in her thoughts than in real life. Because unlike the cold loneliness of reality, in her daydreams, her bed was warm. There was warmth. Someone there to hold. Someone who would only ever be there in her dreams…

"I didn't pick you as one to pass up on workplace tradition," Det. Olivia Benson fibbed as she approached Alex's door. At the sound of the soothing voice, Alex allowed herself the luxury of letting her eyelids flicker shut for just a second before she looked up again to se a fresh cup of coffee…real stuff this time, not the office crap…being placed in front of her. Olivia reached across the desk and clasped her hand over Alex's wrist, unaware of the tingle she was causing in the DA's skin.

"What's it going to take for me to convince you to join your friends for a drink?" Alex avoided looking into her face, instead concentrating on a spot past her shoulder as she mentally scolded herself, friend. Just friend. Nothing more. She actively turned her thoughts to face the other way and focussed on her anger and disappointment at the outcome of the day's events. "C'mon Alex, you need a break."

She threw her pen down, not bothering to grab it before it rolled off the desk. "There's gotta be a way to get this guy!"

Olivia let go of her arm and moved around to her side of the desk and a lump formed in Alex's throat. She gripped the edge of the desk as she crouched down to below Alex's eye level. "We _did_ get him, Alex. You put him away. That's what we wanted, right? I'm worried about you, hon. Why are you taking this one so far? Why is it so important to you? " She must have known Alex's anger wasn't directed at her, because she didn't flinch when Alex's fist pounded the mahogany desk only a short distance from the Detective's shoulder.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but Dana Emery's life is worth more than fifteen years! I should have put that asshole away until-… Her family-"

"You did everything you could, Alex," Olivia cut her off before she squeezed the coffee cup so tightly it burst. "He's in for the night. We have a whole fifteen years to work on it. What good are you to Dana's family tonight, right now, if you can't even compose a sentence without destroying your stationery?"

Alex's head whipped up, ready to let her have it, but something in the Detective's gaze melted her glare instantly. She didn't smile back, for fear of unravelling right then and there, but here gaze softened, and this was concession enough for Olivia. She grasped the DA's trembling shoulder and felt the tension melt away from her touch.

"Come on. You're exhausted. Come out for a quick nightcap with the guys, then I'll get you home to bed"

Alex _was_ exhausted, but not too far gone to think, as she followed the Detective to the door, how much she wished Olivia knew what that last sentence had meant to her.

Friends. Just Friends.


	2. Hold Me

Again, they aren't mine, but would have no objections if anyone were to give them to me (ahem Dick Wolf). Still, no reason I can't have a little play with them

Thanks to all who R&R'd the first chapter...It's been so long since I looked at it, and it kinda lost steam all by itself. But it seems to be picking up momentum again, and in a different direction to what I originally thought. All aboard, the fanfic train is leaving the station. Destination: wait and see!

* * *

For a Wednesday evening, the bar was relatively quiet. Nevertheless, a sickening mixture of movement and sounds swirled on the periphery of Alex's exhausted perception as she was led toward a bar stool, and a glass of her favourite merlot placed in front of her by Olivia. "Drink up, Alex" she said, her grip warm on the blonde's wrist for a few seconds before it was gone and she sat down.

Hold me again.

But Olivia's hands were now firmly cupped around her wine glass. She wondered, and definitely not for the first time, what it would be like to hold those hands in her own. Or to have them touch her face, slide through her hair...

"Alex?" She was jolted from her thoughts, to once again meet the Detective's concerned brown eyes. "Where are you, hon? It seems like you're a million miles away."

"I think I am," Alex replied. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I'm worried about you, Alex, and not in the moral obligation, concerned kind of way. Right now it feels like I'm fearing for my friend's health."

Friends. Just friends.

Alex sighed and traced her finger around the rim of her own glass, forcing herself to gaze into the wine within and feeling some of the tension seep out of her as she swallowed a big gulp of the stuff.

"Talk to me, Alex. I can't stand seeing you like this, but I don't know what I can do, because you won't even admit to yourself what's wrong." The frustration in the Detective's voice gave way to a hint of distress as she continued. "I know this isn't about the case"

Despite all her efforts to concentrate her visual attention downwards, Alex's head shot back upward and she met Olivia's eye, unable to disguise her irritation. "Really, Detective? Enlighten me then. What is this all about?" She asked coldly.

"Who do you think you're kidding, Alex? Olivia asked calmly. She placed a hand over the blonde's wrist again, unaware of the fact that with that simple touch, she'd quashed the anger in her friend quicker than even the wine, of which Alex hurriedly drained the last drops from her glass, as her wrist tingled and she fought the urge to move it so they would be holding hands.

Classy, Cabot. One glass of good wine and you're as fickle as a schoolgirl.

"This is not about Dana Emery. It's not about the case. It's not even about the verdict today. This is hurting something way more important than just your professional pride."

I've been made.

Olivia caught the tiny smile that pinched the corners of Alex's mouth at that thought, and watched the blonde massage her temples in the way she always did when she was having a savage internal debate.

"By now you're aware that I'm prying into your personal life," Olivia continued, her gaze firmly fixed on Alex, who was staring somewhere past Olivia's shoulder. "There's no reason why you should have to talk to me. But I'm offering you a friendly ear. Take it or leave it."

Alex's heart sank at the bluntness of what Olivia had just said. Now or never, Cabot, she told herself, as she lifted her free hand and placed it over Olivia's, still holding her wrist. "I'm sorry Liv," she mumbled. She glanced around the room. Several of her colleagues were sitting at the bar behind her, and blurs of people milled around on all sides. "Can we go somewhere a little more private?"


End file.
